And Now…Some “Best Of”
August 30, 2010
I want to do a few “Best of the No Kool Aid Zone” posts. First, some funny stuff:
My favorite YouTube Video of all time, I think:
Counseling Techniques Guaranteed to Work, posted December 2, 2008
My favorite funny metaphors, posted August 27, 2008:
My favorite funny piece that wasn’t supposed to be funny, the inimitable John Daker, posted June 13, 2008:
Best sports funny, posted December, 2007
And finally, the funniest thing I ever wrote personally, from August 17, 2006:
Have a few good laughs, y’all…
50 Years of Life, a Retrospective: Part 1
August 13, 2010
As I head toward that benchmark, arriving four weeks from yesterday, I’m going to have a little bit of fun making some lists. You may think my lists funny, stupid, ridiculous; I don’t care, it’s my life, hence my lists. Some will be more serious, and others will be very light fare. I commence with two lists of lighter fare:
My Ten Favorite TV Shows of All Time (In No Particular Order)
- Sanford & Son
- China Beach
- Hill Street Blues
- Seinfeld
- The Office
- M*A*S*H*
- The Rockford Files
- ER
- Hawaii Five-O
- Jeopardy
Ten TV Shows of Which I’ve Never Seen an Entire Episode (and in Some Cases, Not Even an Entire Minute)
- Friends
- Cheers
- American Idol (not counting the first episode of a given season, where the doofuses who can’t sing but think they can make for some genuinely funny television)
- Lost
- The X-Files
- 24
- The Simpsons
- CSI Anywhere
- The West Wing
- Survivor Anywhere
Underline the Number “20″
July 28, 2010
From my father-in-law; a good laugh for your Wednesday:
Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
1. Teaching Math In 1950s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?
2. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3… Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s OK. )
6. Teaching Math In 2010
Un hachero vende una carretada de madera para $100. El costo de las producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
Pants on the Ground, Y’all…
May 29, 2010
My old friend Kerri Linto Smith with her cornfed interpretation of a new American classic…
Scrabble, Episode 3
May 18, 2010
OK, so on the first show, I won big, and then in the second show, I should have lost in the first round, then had a cakewalk in the second, and got impatient and blew a decent shot at the 5 grand in the Jackpot round. That show was the last taping of the day, and so having won $12 grand, I went to spend the night with friends on CCC staff in San Bernardino, and I said to myself, “all right, Harvey, you’ve made out better than you ever dreamed; now let’s go back tomorrow and break the bank.” As you’ll see in this first half of the third episode, I played better than either of the first two shows. I was on a roll:
Yep, blew the girl away in the first round, and then set my best second-round score of my time on the show.
And then, I ran into Joel from MIT:
Gotta tell you, the whole thing was an absolute blast, one of those things that was at least as much fun as I anticipated it being. I highly recommend it…
Scrabble, Episode 2, Part 2
May 18, 2010
In which I make a dumb mistake and maybe blow 5 grand. Of course, if you think it’s easy, you try it…
Marian the Librarian
May 13, 2010
Perhaps the most challenging number I had to do, mainly because of the difficulty of getting the timing of the first stanza down. But my exceptionally-talented leading lady, Katrina Scoggins, pulled me through, and at least on this night, we hit it dead-on. Sorry that you’ve probably got to crank your speakers full-blast, but we had a microphone malfunction that evening. Enjoy—if you can—Marian, the Librarian!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IB0El_IZTbY
This phrase comes from the 1978 "Jonestown massacre" in which most members of the Peoples Temple cult, blindly following their leader Jim Jones, committed suicide by drinking cyanide-laced Kool-Aid.
Osborne: A Contrarian's Guide to Knowing God
Schlossberg: Idols For Destruction
