What Would YOU Do with Bonds’ 715th Home Run Ball?
Barry Bonds has now hit 713 home runs in his career, placing him one behind the greatest hitter of all time, Babe Ruth, though thankfully 42 behind Hank Aaron for the all-time lead, and if Bonds holds to his word that this is his last year (if you’re holding your breath that this…ummm…gentleman…will keep his word on that, well let me show you some nice, cheap land in Florida), then he won’t catch Hammerin’ Hank; good. Carlos Oliveras, a Bonds fan, caught #713 yesterday in Philly; he was rewarded with a handshake and a photo with Bonds.
But I’ve been thinking: what would you do if you caught his 715th home run, or even, should he unfortunately pass Aaron, that ball? I think I know what I would do. I’d give the ball to him, or to Cooperstown, or whatever, free of charge, on two conditions: one, that he would admit publicly what everyone not hopelessly deluded already knows, that he knowingly took steroids, and two, that he agree to sign signatures for every little kid who approached him for a period of a year. Just one little kid reporting that Bonds, for the millionth time, acted like a total jerk, would be enough for me to call the deal off.
My guess is that I’d be keeping the ball for the rest of my life…
This phrase comes from the 1978 "Jonestown massacre" in which most members of the Peoples Temple cult, blindly following their leader Jim Jones, committed suicide by drinking cyanide-laced Kool-Aid.
Osborne: A Contrarian's Guide to Knowing God
Schlossberg: Idols For Destruction
