Update on “Fantasy Obsession”
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post on how fantasy football serves to warp one’s approach to the New National Pastime: NFL football.
For the 2 of you who care, I feel it incumbent upon me to give a brief report on the team I was able to secure at our annual Armchair Football League auction. In a word…wow, baby, wow!
Carson Palmer will quarterback the Killer Bz. Listed as a “sleeper” in every fantasy football publication, he came on late last year and justified his selection, 3 years ago, as the #1 pick in the NFL draft. He will lead the way. But it gets better…
Running the ball for the Killer Bz will be Priest Holmes, backed up by Larry Johnson. I will have a difficult time choosing weekly who to put in the #2 back slot, between Mike Anderson, who has claimed the coveted Denver Bronco starting spot, and LaMont Jordan, who appeared alongside Palmer in every publication as a great sleeper candidate this year. I was even able to pick up Willie Parker, who will start Week 1 for the Steelers, with my last selection.
Surely, with a backfield like that, I must be weak at WR, right? That’s where you’d be wrong, Rozelle-breath! He might be a jerk, but Terrell Owens is money in the bank, for the Philadelphia Eagles and, now, for the Killer Bz. He will be flanked by Hines Ward, a #1 guy in some leagues. Backing up these are the always dependable Rod Smith, the up-and-coming Lee Evans, and a couple of sleepers, Michael Jenkins and Tyrone Calico.
Is this team weak anywhere, you ask? Not at tight end; last year, Peyton Manning threw 11 TD’s to Colts’ TE’s; now, with Marcus Pollard in Detroit, shouldn’t Dallas Clark catch most of those? I’ll benefit if he does. Throw in Jeff Reed, the Steeler kicker, and the Grits Blitz defense of the Atlanta Falcons, and, well, I told my mates that I’d be happy to pitch in for a second-place trophy, because I have every intention of claiming my third “Happy Feller Plaque”…
Update: He didn’t respond directly to this post, but the president of our denomination, the Evangelical Free Church of America, who reads this blog from time to time, sent me an email reply with the (quite impressive!) list of the players on his fantasy football team. Bill, you’re my kind of guy.
Is this a great denomination, or what???
This phrase comes from the 1978 "Jonestown massacre" in which most members of the Peoples Temple cult, blindly following their leader Jim Jones, committed suicide by drinking cyanide-laced Kool-Aid.
Osborne: A Contrarian's Guide to Knowing God
Schlossberg: Idols For Destruction
7 Responses to “Update on “Fantasy Obsession””
Ah, and your unquenchable ego makes it the more entertaining to watch as you will undoubtedly take this so called ‘sure-thing’ and mis-manage it to another mediocre result.
Grasshopper ~ Sep 1, 2005 at 12:11 pm
Time shall tell, Grasshoppa, but what’s fantasy football for if not strutting one’s stuff, particularly at the beginning of a campaign, when everyone is undefeated, hope springs eternal, and all’s right with the world.
Then again, if my team fell on its face, it wouldn’t be the first time…
Byron ~ Sep 1, 2005 at 12:14 pm
hahaha….the truth of Grasshopper’s statement makes me laugh. As your lineup is basically the same, minus the WR strength, in your #2 league (where the real action is) I expect a similar mediocre result.
_Shift ~ Sep 1, 2005 at 12:32 pm
“Wow, baby, wow?†In the 16 years we’ve been doin’ this stuff, I’ve NEVER known you to be anything less than overly impressed with your roster…just before you crash and burn. And as far as your having a difficult time choosing weekly who to put in the #2 back slot, not to worry. Once injury porn Mike Anderson and Priest Holmes go down in week 5, and unproven starter Larry Johnson proves why he’s been a backup RB his entire career, you won’t have a bit of trouble. I just hope “sleeper†QB Carson Palmer wakes up this year. I think you’re gonna need him.
Don ~ Sep 1, 2005 at 3:22 pm
Well, that may be true to an extent, future boy o’ whippin’, but this year, there is not a scintilla of false bravado. This team is going to be hard to beat. I think I hear the sound of fear in your words, mi amigo!
Byron ~ Sep 1, 2005 at 5:21 pm
I’m taking bets to see which implodes first: Priest Holmes’ knees or Terrell Owens psyche.
_Shift ~ Sep 1, 2005 at 5:46 pm
I’ll take some of that action.
Fear? Hahahaha! I laugh in your general direction. Bring it big boy.
Don ~ Sep 2, 2005 at 9:57 am