Worst Sports Nickname?
Bob’s response to my post about the Arizona Cardinals’ scary new logo 
has got me thinking about the worst nicknames in all of pro sports. Usually, this happens when a team relocates and doesn’t bother to change its name, even when it’s name was location-specific. So for any takers, what is the worst nickname in all of pro sports (we’ll confine it to the “Big Four”–although if the NHL doesn’t get its act together soon, there may only be three…)? Here’s my “Top Five” list:
5. Memphis Grizzlies – Aren’t grizzly bears illegal in Tennessee?
4. Los Angeles Lakers – The lakes are in Minnesota, where this team used to be. Lakes in L.A.? Hmmm…
3. Tampa Bay Devil Rays – Just a stupid name all the way around.
2. Mighty Ducks of Anaheim – Imagine the name of Lord Stanley being disgraced by a team with this name winning his Cup.
and my number one worst-named team:
1. Utah Jazz – This team was the New Orleans Jazz–where jazz came from. Is any place LESS jazzy than Utah? Maybe DesMoines…
This phrase comes from the 1978 "Jonestown massacre" in which most members of the Peoples Temple cult, blindly following their leader Jim Jones, committed suicide by drinking cyanide-laced Kool-Aid.
Osborne: A Contrarian's Guide to Knowing God
Schlossberg: Idols For Destruction
10 Responses to “Worst Sports Nickname?”
Utah is my primary destination for some coooool jazz, maaaan! Nothing like listening to a sax whaling the blues sitting next to some Mormons.
That’s got to be the worst.
The “Lakers” is a moronic name, too.
I’d also add the Dodgers. The Dodgers nickname originated in 1890s Brooklyn, where trolley-cars were the mode of public transportation. Brooklyn natives were forced to “dodge” the trolleys in the busy streets. Was this true in LA?
Let’s hope that the Colorado Rockies don’t move to Omaha, Nebraska!
Bob Robinson ~ Jan 31, 2005 at 12:06 pm
Bring back the Macon Whoopee!
Paul - SteelerDirtFreak ~ Jan 31, 2005 at 2:13 pm
Try to stay on subject here; we’re not talking about the bestminor league nickname of all time…
Byron ~ Jan 31, 2005 at 2:28 pm
Hey Byron – glad to reconnect via the blogosphere! I know many will disagree, but I think topographical references should be avoided in all sports franchises – no Rockies, Lakers, etc. How about the Honolulu Archipelagos? Or maybe the Juneau Glaciers?
matt h. ~ Jan 31, 2005 at 3:42 pm
Well, yeah, but the “Juneau Glaciers” are certainly an improvement on the “Juneau Whats”…
Byron ~ Jan 31, 2005 at 4:00 pm
Los Angeles Lakers: Although it doesn’t compare to the land of the 10,000 Lakes, there are indeed lakes in the City of Los Angeles and the greater L.A. area — Echo Park Lake, Toluca Lake, Lake Balboa, MacArthur Lake in MacArthur Park downtown…
Paul - SteelerDirtFreak ~ Feb 1, 2005 at 12:39 am
And of course, nothing strikes fear into the heart of opposing players than a team named after a color…the Cleveland Browns……I know they have that legend that they are named after their founder, but even so, he was named after a color!
And of course, well before Cleveland had this terrifying color, St. Louis had it – the St Loius Browns – another team sure to drive fear (or hilarity) into the hearts of their opponents.
Paul - SteelerDirtFreak ~ Feb 1, 2005 at 12:45 am
And continuing with that mistake on the lake, their American League team started it’s somewhat less than marvelous existence known as the Cleveland Spiders and progressed along to Cleveland Blues, Cleveland Broncos, and Cleveland Naps before finally becoming the oh so insulting Cleveland Indians.
The team we now know as the Atlanta Braves went thru their own flux of creative misnomers on their way to their current culturally sensitive tom-a-hawk choppin’ selves – at various points of their time in Boston, they had all of these relevant names -Boston Red Caps, Boston Beaneaters, Boston Doves, Boston Rustlers, and Boston Bees, in addition to the Boston Braves, which at least historically made some sense, for the reference to the Boston Tea Party.
Before the Chicago Cubs adopted their current name, they were known by the most fearsome name of the Chicago Orphans.
Bob already mentioned the Dodgers, although they weren’t actually called the Dodgers until 1913, and then that was just for one season. They resumed the use of the Dodgers name in 1931. Before the Dodgers name was first used, they were the Bridgegrooms and then the Superbas. From 1914 to 1930 they were the Robins.
My beloved Pirates started off as the Allegheny Innocents.
Philadelphia Phillies started off as the Quakers, no brawls in their games, I suppose.
And what is it with St Louis and the color brown? The baseball Cardinals started out as the Brown Stockings – now there is a name just waiting to be abused.
Turning to Football…from 1922-1929 the Dayton Triangles were members of the NFL, now that will strike fear into the other team, “We’re named for a geometric shape!”
And of course, we can’t forget the colorful Pottsville Maroons, previously of Toledo and Kenosha.
The Duluth Eskimos made a brief NFL appearance.
You mentioned the Memphis Grizzlies having no ties to the area, but actually the Memphis team in the old WFL, 1974 and 1975, was known as the Grizzlies.
And finally, how about the Columbus Blue Jackets? I mean, what the heck is a Blue Jacket?
Paul - SteelerDirtFreak ~ Feb 1, 2005 at 1:40 am
I’m sorry; it just really, really scares me that you know so much about these things…
Byron ~ Feb 1, 2005 at 9:49 am
Hey Paul
Just when I thought I was liking you…
…you had to pick on the Browns.
Brown is a very nice color. It goes with just about everything.
It’s the orange I can’t stand (where did they get that?!?!).
Bob Robinson ~ Feb 1, 2005 at 4:48 pm