The No Kool Aid Zone

Underline the Number “20″

Posted by Byron July 28th, 2010 at 6:23 pm
Filed Under A Good Laugh | Leave a Comment |

From my father-in-law; a good laugh for your Wednesday:

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

1. Teaching Math In 1950s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?

2. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3… Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980s

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s OK. )

6. Teaching Math In 2010
Un hachero vende una carretada de madera para $100. El costo de las producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

Jesus: Good Clean Fun

Posted by Byron July 26th, 2010 at 4:38 pm
Filed Under Life as a Jesus-follower | 7 Comments |

Regular readers of my irregularly-written blog will remember that I have on occasion expressed my frustration with the several different forms of “Christian media”, and today’s post is no exception.  The most popular Christian radio station here in Atlanta, as best I can tell, is 104.7, “The Fish”.  It plays on our radio from time to time, and it’s passable, I suppose (given the definition I read recently of Contemporary Christian Music: “bad music written about God by white people”).

What annoys me is the advertising campaigns that The Fish chooses to employ.  First, their motto is “Safe for the Whole Family”.  Understand, they play “Christian” music, in the sense that the majority of their playlist consists of songs that either overtly or subtly refer to Jesus in some way, shape, or form.  I feel pretty certain that the majority, likely 100%, of their staff would profess faith in Christ.  That’s great, of course…but I am reminded of a short passage from C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe:

‘If there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than me or else just silly.’

‘Then he isn’t safe?’ asked Lucy.

‘Safe?’ said Mr. Beaver. ‘Don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.’

Given that Aslan is a Christ-figure, I think Lewis has it right: Jesus is anything but safe.  Ah, but the music we write about this domesticated God-man is “safe for the whole family”.  OK.

Now, in a pitch for their morning drive-time “Kevin and Taylor in the Morning”, they describe what goes on as “Good, Clean Fun”.  OK…we sing songs about Jesus, and then reduce the experience to “good, clean fun”.  Hmmm…Jesus isn’t “safe for the whole family”, and for goodness’ sake, is He “good, clean fun”?

Such is the banality of much of contemporary Christian discourse…

The Latest from the NFL’s Most Self-Centered Superstar

Posted by Byron July 22nd, 2010 at 9:04 pm
Filed Under Rants about Sports | Leave a Comment |

How can anybody retain any respect for a guy who perpetually leaves his teams hanging as to what his intentions are?

Childress Still Unsure of Favre Decision

This guy’s act was old and tired three years ago, and yet he keeps it up, and the Minnesota Vikings put up with it, and the press pants after him, and there are millions of NFL fans who consider him almost divine.  Yeah, he’s a great QB—the most overrated QB this side of Joe Namath, but great nonetheless—but his perpetual dithering about, unconcerned about its impact upon his team (or, one would suspect, much of anyone besides himself and his family) does more to harm what should have been a great image than anything else I can imagine.

Live Like Jesus?

Posted by Byron July 22nd, 2010 at 8:51 pm
Filed Under Getting the Gospel Right, Life as a Jesus-follower | 3 Comments |

I’m driving through downtown Atlanta yesterday afternoon and I see a billboard featuring Bishop Eddie Long.  Bishop Eddie is pastor of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, a megachurch in Lithonia, GA (an ATL suburb).  Bishop Eddie was one of the six mega-pastors who were on the receiving end of Senator Chuck Grassley’s investigation into televangelists and their extravagant lifestyles (an investigation about which I have truly mixed emotions, by the way; that’s not the point of this post anyway).

Bishop Eddie makes nearly a cool million a year.  Bishop Eddie drives a $350K Bentley, and lives in a mansion with nine bathrooms on twenty acres.  Defending this (indefensible) lifestyle, Bishop Eddie told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution in 2005 that,

“I pastor a multimillion dollar congregation. You’ve got to put me on a different scale than the little black preacher sitting over there that’s supposed to be just getting by because the people are suffering.”

Uh-huh.

What makes this interesting is what the billboard said.  It read,

“Love Like Him, Live Like Him, Lead Like Him”

I assume Bishop Eddie means that we ought to love, live, and lead like Jesus.

And so I find myself wondering if anyone in his mega-congregation sees the irony…

And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” – Luke 9:58

In My Last Post…

Posted by Byron July 21st, 2010 at 5:14 pm
Filed Under Free for Coming... | 6 Comments |

I mentioned that having received my first solicitation from AARP, I would proceed to “lie down” somewhere.  Undoubtedly, there are some of my readers who wonder if I never got up from that nap, judging by the fact that it’s been a full four weeks since I’ve said anything.

No, that’s not the case; actually, I’ve been active and busy and working and…and frankly, just not up to writing a whole lot.  I wouldn’t call it “writer’s block”, so much as “writer’s disinterest”, coupled with “writer’s fatigue”, coupled with “it’s summer, and I’m enjoying the out-of-doors, and just ain’t in the mood to sit indoors much.”

Which leads to what I’m leaning toward: it strikes me that the time may well have come to bring this blogging enterprise to a conclusion.  I’ve been at it for about 7 years (the Archives don’t show it, but way back in the beginning, if my ever-fading memory serves me, I blogged under another format for a few months).  It would be overreach to call me one of the pioneers of blogging, but it wouldn’t be overreach at all to call me an “early adopter”.  And it’s been fun.  And I think there are at least a handful of people whom I’ve inspired to blog, who are doing so with varying degrees of regularity, but who have some things to offer, and I read them and appreciate their insights and am happy if indeed my venture emboldened them to do the same.  Thoughtful, well-written commentary from a Christian perspective is ever-needful in this godless society in which we live.

But I’m just about ready, I think, to move on.

So here’s my tentative plan: this post is post number 1950 on this site.  I turn 50 in about 50 days.  That would give me an even sum of 2000 posts, if I hit about one a day.  I think I’d like to post #2000 on my 50th, and then sort of fade into the sunset.  That sounds right.  I hope to post (mostly) substantive stuff in the days to come; I hope to do a “best of” post or six, where I go back through the 1900+ and search out the ones I think are worthy of re-running; some of them may provoke new discussion, which would be fun.  I cannot tell you what a blast it can be to spend some of one’s day thinking of how to answer a person with a different point of view, not by “flaming” that person, but with a cogent, Christ-honoring answer.  I love it.  Next week, I’m meeting “Bob” in person to talk about the whole issue of homosexuality; some of you might remember that a few months back, in response to “Bob’s” questions, I did a 7-part series on the subject.  I look forward to seeing him and chewing the fat in that regard; I love it.

Now, it may be that if I meet this lofty goal, I in turn get re-inspired to continue.  I doubt at this point that that’ll happen, but I reserve that right.  It’s my blog, and I’ll…blog…if I want to…but for now, that’s the plan.  But I guess the bottom line is that I try…not always hit it, but try…to either do something reasonably well, or to not do it at all.  Lately, I haven’t been doing this blogging thing particularly well, hence my decision.

It is my intent to leave this blog up, at least for some time; I pay just a few bucks to maintain it a year, and I think I’d like to keep it for at least a couple reasons: one, it does serve to elucidate what I think about life (and might serve for a few good laughs in a few years when I’m older and wiser and want to repudiate some of the dumb stuff I undoubtedly think now).  Two, on occasion there are people who stumble upon it for one reason or another, and it gives me opportunity to engage them in conversation.  Some of them rail at me (Ryan, of recent vintage, being one example), but with tact and patience, I think I can, if not persuade folks like Ryan, at least present perhaps a different picture of a Christ-follower.

And that has been worth doing.

Time to Go Lie Down for a Nap…

Posted by Byron June 23rd, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Filed Under Free for Coming... | 8 Comments |

I just went to the mailbox and received, for the first time in my life, a solicitation for membership…from the AARP.

Uggh…

Celtic Thunder Video of the Day: Take Me Home

Posted by Byron June 22nd, 2010 at 3:24 pm
Filed Under Videos | 2 Comments |